yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
