Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize