Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
