he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
