never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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