RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize