Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
