dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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