I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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