just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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