I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
A+ Viking dick
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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