he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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