I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize