ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
