I think my fart just growled at me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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