new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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