idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
