I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
