We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
