my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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