I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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