hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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