Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
