There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
