farters have to be the big spoon...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
