so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize