So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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