well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
