I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
