If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
