Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
