By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize