You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
its not stalking. its research.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Semen is not good for contacts.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
