We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
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Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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