She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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