Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
so much tequila, so little girl.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
