I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
