i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
he just fucked me for my cheese.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
