Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
