Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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