I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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