Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
