Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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