Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
