What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
