i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
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