i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize