dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
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I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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