So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
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We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
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Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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