She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
