his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
