Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
