Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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