the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
