just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
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