i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
