I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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