I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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