drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
