so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
