Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
