It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
