So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
